What this book’s about
Jo Frost, TV’s Supernanny, shares with us her philosophies and techniques designed so we can get the best from our kids. She doesn’t say it but I can tell you that this book can also help to keep harmony (or create it) within the marriage as well.
Summary
The book is broken down into two sections: Basic Techniques and Troubleshooting. Definitely read the whole book (I even read the chapter on Toilet Training even though my daughter has used the toilet successfully for years. I thought here might be some tip I could use to help her be even more successful during her trips to the bathroom.) The Basic Techniques are separated into the following chapters: Ages and stages; Routines and rules; and Setting boundaries. For Troubleshooting you’ll find chapters on dressing, toilet training, eating, social skills, bedtime and quality time. By all means skip directly to a troubleshooting chapter if you have an immediate need for help but make sure you circle back around and read the whole book, there are tips and techniques that are essential for successful use of the Supernanny methods. Keep reading the book to help you keep the momentum going, keep it in your memory and achieve ultimate success.
What’s good about this book
(1) The bedtime troubleshooting ideas are wonderful and kind. They work. Within a week your child’s bedtime troubles will be over. You’ll have your evenings (and sleep) back. (2) It has an index for reference later; (3) I especially like the “Top Ten Rules” at the end of each chapter. It makes it easy for a quick reference or for the spouse that hasn’t read the book come up to speed on the methods that are working so well for you. (4) The information on breastfeeding is good except that Jo recommends not expressing milk when weaning. I found it much more comfortable, in addition to cutting down on the chances of mastitis, by expressing a little to relieve the pressure while weaning my children from breastfeeding. It was defiantly more comfortable. The milk supply will decline and eventually stop with less discomfort. Even if it takes a little longer, it’s worth it. And who’s to say it takes much longer anyway? (5) I agree with talking to the child in a positive way such as “After you are in your jammies we’ll read the book,” instead of “No book until your pjs are on”. See the difference? I think most of us were brought up being told the negative and assuming the positive. I tell my children the positive and let them assume the negative. (6) I like her suggestions for eating but would only encourage children to eat until they are satisfied (no longer hungry), not until they are finished with their plates. I would NEVER encourage them to finish everything on their plates. It’s an unhealthy habit that will last into adulthood and cause many people to overeat. If my child eats a lot or does finish her plate I say, "You must have been hungry." I was told to clean my plate as a child. As an adult I decided it was healthiest to stop eating when I wasn’t hungry anymore and I decided to stop eating when I was satisfied. That was 15 YEARS ago and I still feel compelled to finish everything on my plate and sometimes finish my daughter’s plate too. She never eats past the point of satisfaction, we’ve taught her well.
What I didn’t like/would change/wouldn’t recommend about this book
(1) Sometimes before bedtime Jo will tell a child what events are happening the next day. I don’t think this is a good idea. The techniques in this book are designed to work best with children 5 years and under. Children of this age live totally in the NOW, time is a concept they just don’t understand. I choose to talk to my young child about what is happening now. I don’t tell her what’s going to happen tomorrow since she will expect it to happen now. Compound this with telling the child right before they are expected to go to sleep and they might be so excited they won’t go to sleep or have trouble falling asleep. (2) Instead of telling a child that a “new” baby is coming I would change the words to say that a brother or a sister is coming to join the family. As adults we usually throw out the “old” when we get something “new” and we don’t want our children to think they are being replaced. We want them to know the family is being augmented and they will have a very important part to play. (3) I disagree with praising. I understand Jo’s point that you need to do something to reinforce the child finally acting in an acceptable manner but there are other ways it can be done. If you read Dumbing Us Down : The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling you know that praise can have a long-term detrimental affect on ones’ own sense of self-appraisal. Sure, it might make your job easier in the short-term and your child might do what you want more readily because they know you will withhold your praise if they don’t but it isn’t worth the long-term affects. There are ways of encouraging our children, to do their best and to help, without praise. I thank my children for helping and let them know what their help meant to me: “Thank you for helping. We got done faster by doing it together.” I’ve also had a lot of success with the book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. (4) I don’t think children should watch television at all until they are much older. Jo isn’t keen on it but some parents are so I’ll share with you something you may not have known. Television, whether a movie, cartoon or whatever else, adversely affects the development of the child’s brain. The Waldorf Schools know this and try to help the child’s brain develop in the most optimal ways. (5) I disagree with not giving children raw foods. I ground up sunflower and buckwheat greens and the children loved them. Maybe certain children’s digestive systems aren’t ready for solid foods at all if they can’t take raw foods. On a side note, you can really give your children a great start in life by keeping their bodies clean of mucus by offering them mucus less or mucus lean choices. (6) On page 173 she recommends, when you are out at a park, telling the child to “stay where I can see you”. The child doesn’t know if you can see them or not. I recommend telling them to stay where THEY can see YOU. That they CAN do.
My own suggestions
I also suggest keeping in mind the adage “Observe more and interview less”. I learned this one when my 15 year old was 2. It’s been great for her self-esteem and ability to try new things. From birth to seven-years-old children learn by example. We can be more “wordy” with our children after they are seven and can process information in that “wordy” manner.
Especially good sections to read
Troubleshooting chapters for any problems you might be having.
What to skip
Nothing, read it all
When to get this book
With enough time to read before your child starts walking. Basically, before behavior problems can start.
Final comments
All-in-all this is a great book that will make your life as a parent better. Make sure you read, in this review, what I like and dislike as well as the accompanying suggestions and ideas and see what feels “right” to you. I think this is an essential book to have in your library if you have young children or are a care provider for young children. It will make your life easier, create happy, confident children and adults, both now and when they’re older. It worked for me.
View book details at Amazon.com: Supernanny : How to Get the Best from Your Children